Trying to stay busy...

We have been doing lots of fun things lately. Staying busy and trying to get back into our daily routine seems to be helping. Here is what we have been up to:

Swimming

Watching shows

Watching Drew graduate from High School (boring...) 

just kidding Drew!

Playing in the gutter (every kid's dream right?)

Eating cookies

Going Fishing! 

Carter's first fish!

Mom even caught one!
It's been about 15 years since the last one!

Throwing rocks

Visiting Bridger

Memorial Day

Visiting Liberty Park and Tracy Aviary for Uncle Drew's 18th Birthday

Carter loved the ferris wheel and said Woah! every time they went around

And Carter is just busy being cute! I love spending my days with him. He is so smart, and cute, and funny! This may sound weird but he is one of my best friends. He shows me he loves and cares about me all day by giving me hugs, squeezes, and kisses. We have so much fun together. I am so blessed to be his mommy. 

I love you Carter!

One last thing... I wanted to write down how cute it is that Carter calls himself Cartee. If we are playing with him he will say, "No, it's Cartee's turn." Or something to that effect. He is quite the talker and doing really well. He is at the age that pretty much everything he says is cute. Some of my favorite things that Carter says besides Cartee are when he says, chocolate, cereals, screwdriver, heavy, change my bum real quick?, watch a show?, OK!, and Uh Oh Mama!

"Just A Prayer Away"

My sweet friend Heidi just dropped this poem off to me. Heidi's little brother passed away from SIDS when he was 100 days old. Her uncle wrote this poem for/about him. He said that the words just came to him as if Heidi's little brother was speaking to him. She changed some of the words so that it applied to Bridger and I just love it.

"Just A Prayer Away"

There once was a special spirit, the Lord called out one day.

The Lord said, "My son, your time has come, you leave for Earth today."

"So choose two parents with love and strength, 

for they will have to face some sorrow.

You see my son, your work is not done,

I'll need you home tomorrow."

So the spirit went out and chose his parents,

and down to Earth he came.

Parents filled with love and kindness,

Mark and Alison are their names.

As a babe in mothers womb, he felt a tender touch.

He already knew her voice, her heart, her sweet spirit he loved so much.

He also knew a fathers touch, gentle yet so strong.

Who longed to rock him to sleep at night, and try to sing a song.

And though he could not stay some time..

He already loved them dear.

A mother, a father, and big brother who shed soft tears.

And in the darkness of the night, the Lord he called him home

"I really hate to leave," he said, "this family I long to love and know."

You see, Bridger sent this message, because he wants you to know,

just how much he loves you, and that he's sorry he had to go.

"Thank you for your love and care in the womb each day.

You made the time I spent with you, so special in every way."

"I know it's hard to understand the reasons and the pain.

For you it seems like forever until we meet again,

But please don't cry, and don't feel bad, for Mom and Dad can't you see

For me it's but a moment until again we are a family.

My love and blessing I'll send to you each and everyday.

And anytime you need to talk to me, you need just kneel and pray."

Bridger's Memorial Service

I wanted to post a few pictures and tell about Bridger's memorial service. Although it was a sad event, it was also really beautiful and special... the spirit touched everyone that walked into the building that day. I think everyone that came felt Bridger near them too. I truly feel like he was there with us. We had the service at Lindquist Mortuary in North Ogden. Our funeral director was so good to us and we felt that Bridger was in good hands with him. The outpouring of love from our friends and family was amazing. We had so many people come to the service and we feel blessed to be surrounded by so many loving and caring people. 

We arrived at the mortuary and I helped set up some of Bridger's pictures, his hand and foot molds, and his slideshow. We then started being greeted by many friends and family. I was trying to keep myself as composed as possible because Carter was there and when he sees Mark or I crying he starts crying. But every time someone started crying I would start too. I never thought I would be standing next to my son's casket receiving condolences. It proves that life really is short, and precious, and could be over in an instant. Thank goodness for the knowledge of the gospel in our lives. 

After visiting was over we had a family prayer given my Mark's dad. We then started the service by a talk from my dad. Even though I know that public speaking makes my dad really nervous, it was special that he spoke because we gave Bridger the middle name of Gary in honor of him. Then I read a poem and short story. I will probably post them later. When I was looking for something to read at the service I knew that the poem and story that I found were what I wanted to read for Bridger. I'm not going to lie, it was hard to read through them. Tears were covering my eyes the whole time, but I figured that I wanted to do as much as I could for him. I would have done something if it were a different event like his blessing or baptism. So, to me this wasn't any different. I wanted to be a part of his special day.  After I read my poem and story my sister in law (Mark's sister) played a rendition of "I Know That My Redeemer Lives." She is one of the most talented piano players I know, and she played it perfectly. I know that she put her heart into playing that song for Bridger. Next, Mark spoke. Mark does such a good job at public speaking. I loved his talk and afterwards asked for it so that I could read through it often. Thank you Mark for everything that you said. After Mark's talk our bishop gave a few remarks too. After all the talks we (the congregation) sang Families Are Forever. 

Mark was the pallbearer for Bridger and he sat his casket on his lap on our way to the cemetery. The weather had been cloudy and rainy but when it was time for the graveside service it was beautiful and sunny. When we got to Bridger's graveside Mark dedicated the grave and then we listened to and had a balloon release to the song, "Come, Thou Fount Of Every Blessing," by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. The spirit was so strong as we released the balloons during that song. Hearing the song now makes me kind of sad because I felt that when we let the balloons go into the sky that we were saying our final goodbye. I know that we will see him again, but this was our final goodbye for this lifetime. It was also sad because as everyone let their balloons go Carter said, "Uh Oh!" and started crying because all of the balloons were gone. He held on to his for as long as possible until it accidentally got let go of. I also kind of think that Carter knew was going on and was crying because of that too. That made me upset to think that he was sad because of losing his brother. 

Like I said at the beginning of this post, it was a sad but special day. Although it was hard for me to say a last goodbye, it was also nice to have a little bit of closure and feel that Bridger is finally were he is suppose to be. Thank you so much to everyone that shared this special day with us. 

We LOVE you little Bridger boy!

Love always,

Mommy

P.S. I probably should have made a slideshow but I didn't. So, there are lots of pictures. And Thanks Mom for taking the pictures for us! We will cherish them forever...

Our little Bridger Boy

His hand and foot molds - made by the SHARE organization

Mark (Daddy) dedicating Bridger's grave

My best friends

Our little family

Grandpa Gary keeping Carter happy

Uncle Brian and Emma

This statue is at Bridger's cemetery and it is one of the reasons why we love it there so much. We drove to the cemetery to check it out and saw this first thing. I think we knew right then that this was going to be the resting place for our own little angel.